Let's just file this one under #momstress wife fail. It's the day before Valentine's Day. I'm a frazzled mess trying to juggle all the work things while my kids have a five-day break from school - in the middle of February for the love of God! Since when does President's Day call for a full week off?! Pretty sure that went out with powdered wigs. Thanks Adams 12 school district for keeping the seldom-celebrated-outside-of-the-US-postal-service holiday alive!
I picked up some Valentine's goodies for the kids the week before, but had forgotten to get something for my husband of 17 years. The day has gotten away from me like usual and I am left with only 30 minutes to run to the bank and post office and get something special for my better half before I need to Better Crocker some dinner onto the table and Uber the kids to sports.
My hubby loves sweets and I'm picturing some beautiful chocolate-dipped strawberries, but have no time to drive across town to the one place that might have them. I have all of 15 minutes left after knocking the bank and post office off my list. Feeling like a man knocking out his Christmas Shopping on Christmas Eve, I duck into Super Target and grab some fresh berries & and a container of microwaveable chocolate shell. I need a card and try my luck at the mini Valentine’s section that Target puts next to the produce section for people like me who are too lazy to truck it across the store where the good cards are. Thank you Target!
I’m feeling a little stressed about the card because my hubby, sweetheart that he is, always turns up with one of those beautifully crafted high-dollar cards that you only find in an actual Hallmark store. So I’m going through the sad selection of cards in the emergency Valentine’s section. The first few I pick up are total duds. Too many words, not enough words, just plain stupid. Then I find this gem, which despite the cheesy sexual innuendo, is really kind of perfect because my husband is one of the nicest, always-in-a-good-mood guys you’ll ever meet and I am not. I am a total don’t-look-at-me-or-talk-to-me-right-now, pain in the a$$ to live with girl. I wish I was better, but I am not.
So I got my card, I race home and make a batch of dipped strawberries, raspberries, and pretzels and get everything arranged minutes before he walks in the door. I’m feeling like a rockstar for turning out an actual gift instead of pulling the Um, we’re not getting each other anything for Valentine’s Day, are we? routine. He loved the sweets and chuckled at the card. A few hours later he asked me if I noticed the front of the card and shows me my wife fail.
I don't know how I missed that that it was the man talking or the giant WIFE reference, but thankfully he just laughed it off, sweetheart that he is. 🧡